Hello Blogites,
This is going to be a short, but slightly naughty blog. It's going to sound like a terrible lie, but honestly it's the truth. I was actually doing some research on my own name for a different blog, but when I typed Rance into Google and I was searching through the results, I came across the expression Dude Ranch. Now, being a curious sort of bloke, I had to see what it meant and so I clicked on the link and it took me to a page about slang. Before we continue to the naughty bits, and just so you don't go to bed scratching your head worried about what a Dude Ranch is, it's, 'a party or bar where the men far outnumber the women.' Anyway, just under that definition came the interesting bit. It gave me the chance to vote on how vulgar a word Dude Ranch was (not very as it goes), and then came the best bit. There was a link to the most vulgar words. Obviously I had to click on it.
Now, before I give you my list of most vulgar words, be warned some are a bit blue so if you're easily offended, revert your eyes now. The funniest thing for me was that all of these words had been voted on by members of the general public as being the most vulgar. Not only had someone sat down and entered these words into the slang dictionary, but gone to the trouble to put them into some sort of list of vulgarity. Some people have far too much free time. Anyway, here's a sample of my favourite new vulgar slang words:
Rusty trombone - the sexual practice where someone gives a male a hand-job while licking his anus. (I don't really understand the need for this. It seems a little much, but then again I'm not gay.)
Bearded Oyster - Vagina (This only works in some cases, obviously. I suppose in Brazil it would be the oyster with the twelve o'clock shadow.)
A metric ass-load - A great number (Not actually that vulgar but a nice way of saying many. The European Union could us this to liven up their tawdry rule making.)
Shit house door on a tuna boat - something that smells awful. As this is an obvious southern American term, I feel like I need to use it in a sentence so you really understand it's usage. You could say, 'your breath smells like a shit house door on a tuna boat'.
Go Hogging - to go out and purposely pull a large girl for the amusement of your friends.
Blue Waffle - an infected vagina (it doesn't mention what sort of infections this accounts for.)
Well, there you go, another educational blog about the little things that make me giggle. So, next time you're in the supermarket with a friend or loved one and you need a lot of something, you can use the term, 'metric ass-load' or perhaps when you next Go Hogging for some Bearded Oyster and get a Blue Waffle that smells like the Shit house door on a tuna boat, you'll thank me for this information.
Blog soon x
