Harry, the the main character in my novel, comes to realise that marriage is:
"...about loving someone because of their faults and flaws. It's about living with them despite all of their annoying habits..."
This got me thinking about all the things I do that annoy my wife. Surprinsingly, when I started thinking about it, there were quite a few. Here's the top five (not in order of annoyance):
1 - The toilet paper goes over not under (or is it the other way around?)
I don't know why this is such a big deal. I don't, honestly. Does it matter whether the toilet roll goes over or under? According to my wife, YES! It seems that whichever way I do it (still not sure which), it's supposed to go the over way. There's probably a good reason, there usually is, I just don't know what it is.
2 - My man-tention span.
Another problem that Harry and I share. Listening, but not hearing. This usually occurs whenever I'm busy and Kristin starts talking to me. At that moment, I should stop whatever it is I'm doing and listen. I realise that. However, frequently, I don't. I try to watch telly, continue reading, continue writing while listening and that's when it happens. My man-tention span gets the better of me because five seconds after she's told whatever it is she wanted me to know, I've forgotten. This is fine if what's she's saying is trivial, but sometimes it's important and that's when I get in trouble - and rightly so (sorry baby).
3 - Losing lids to tupperwear containers.
I honestly don't know how this happens. I do my very best to always keep the lids with the containers, but somehow they always go missing. It's a mystery. Kristin, of course, says it isn't a mystery but me. She's probably right.
4 - Being a duvet hog.
Now, technically, this isn't my fault. I'm asleep. I can't control asleep Jon. He does whatever it is he does during the night and then come morning, I take over again. We have a deal. Unfortunately, asleep Jon is a bit of a nob and likes to get me in trouble. So, during the night, when everyone's asleep, he reaches across the bed and pulls all of the duvet off Kristin and onto me. I imagine him as some sort of Dickensian villian.
5 - Breaking things.
Again, I don't know how this happens, but it does. I realise that we all break things. It's a perfectly normal part of life. However, I seem to break things frequently and not just things, but Kristin's things. I have this incredible knack of locating Kristin's things and breaking them. I even do my best to stay away from her things, but still, like a rampaging, careless magnet, they seem to find me and before I know what's happened, they're broken. I'm like a modern day, Lennie from Of Mice and Men.
This Thirtysomething Life: A Diary will be available to buy at http://ma2books.webplus.net/ next May.
Blog soon x
