Hello,
It's me, Jon. I hope you're well. You look fantastic by the way, and what's that smell? Are you wearing a new scent? And a haircut? OK, I'll stop now, I can see you're blushing. I'm here today talking about my new book - the secretly named book four. I'm currently in the middle of draft/edit number six (or is it sixteen?), and so I thought I'd write a blog about how to write a novel (or not).
When I was an aspiring novelist (I still am in my head and according to my bank manager), I read every blog or article about writing a novel. I still to this day love reading about and watching clips on YouTube of writers talking about their work. I find it fascinating. We all work so differently, and yet there are these books telling us how to write, how to be a huge Kindle success overnight, how to write a novel in ten easy steps..what? It's that easy? Yes just ten steps..apparently. Surely you jest? Well yes they do because writing a novel isn't just a question of filling out an Excel spreadsheet, plotting the story correctly, filling in the characters by number, and meeting one of the standard required endings. Writing a novel isn't painting by numbers. If you think it is, stop reading this now because you'll shit yourself. I jest not.
I started book four back in January, although the actual idea I had a few years ago and it was stored away on my computer in the folder called..Novels. I have about twenty novel ideas in this folder I might one day write. I'd already submitted about six or seven ideas to my agent, all of which she said weren't strong enough. I was beginning to think I'd never write again and then I pitched her the idea of book four and she loved it. A few weeks later I started work.
I don't know how you write, but I just get stuck in. I plan a bit, but for me the best way to think about a book is to start writing it. The first draft is in many ways my notes. Of course this means that the first draft is usually awful. Characters names change mid-sentence, the plot holes are plot craters, the middle-bit is rubbish, the beginning flabby and dull, and the ending just doesn't make any sense. And so this is when the real work starts. With book four I wrote the first draft (about 80,000 words) in less than six months. I then spent the next two months revising it, editing, improving every part of it, until I was fairly happy to send it off to my agent for her opinion.
The best thing about my agent is that she doesn't pull any punches. She tells it to me like it is. This is a must when you're a writer. One of the problem when you're starting out is that you don't have that person. Friends and family tell you you're brilliant. Other writers are afraid to really lay into you and so you go along thinking you're the greatest writer in the world. Agents don't do that. They tell you how it is. They also have the experience and knowledge to know exactly what's wrong with it and what it needs. She came back a few weeks later with some good news, but also a lot of bad. The thing is, I don't mind. I love good feedback because it makes the book better. If you can't stomach being told that something you've slaved over and love is awful and stinks the literary world up, then don't become an author. And definitely don't get an agent. I love my agent though because her only interest is making the book brilliant.
I'm now in the middle of editing with her notes and the book is taking shape. It's about 100,000 words at the moment. The story is getting there, the characters are coming alive, the jokes are funny, the touching scenes really tug at the heart (I almost cried myself today reading one scene back), and I'm super happy with how it's going. Of course, when I'm done. When I think it's brilliant, I'll send it off to my agent again and wait. Waiting for feedback is one of the hardest things as a writer. I'm hoping she'll love it and only have a few changes, but she might want a complete re-write, which could take another six months.
You see writing a novel isn't easy. It takes time, years sometimes, it's painful, difficult, and when you finally put it out there no-one might buy it, you might get awful reviews, you might make a tenner for two years work. Or it might become a multi-million best seller and you'll get a three book deal with piles of money. Right now though I'm still in the middle of writing the book. There's lots of work to be done, lots of heartache, bad news, tears, and late night cups of tea to be drunk before I can think about typing 'The End' for the last time and sending it off into the world.
So next time you read an article about writing a book in ten easy steps, or making millions by becoming the next Kindle star, realise that writing a novel is hard. Really bloody hard. And there's millions of books out there making no money because the person writing them didn't realise how hard it was. I'm on book four and I still have so much to learn about the craft. I love it though. I love every painful, difficult, beautiful thing about writing novels. I'll still be in here twenty years - writing book number twenty - probably still trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing.
Until next time.
Hugs,
Jon X
