Hello,
A happy weekend to you all. Today's been a weird day for me. My eldest Charlotte starts school on Monday and I'm at a bit of a loss. Five years ago I worked full-time, but then we had Charlotte and I decided to stay at home and be a full-time dad/writer. At that time I hadn't written much. Two full length novels, a bunch of short stories, and I'd had nothing published. Part of the reason I decided to stay at home was that I thought I'd have more time to write. I knew then that I wanted to be an author (not a marketing office bod), and so this was my chance. I didn't know, of course, how much that decision was going to change my life.
I love being a stay at home dad. Yes, some days are horrible. Yes, I occasionally get lonely and crave adult company, at least a proper conversation that doesn't involve talking about poo, pee, or puke. Sometimes I start drinking before my wife gets home because I'm at the end of my tether...but, without being a stay at home dad, I wouldn't now be a full-time author.
My first published novel, 'This Thirtysomething Life' was mainly written when Charlotte was young (and still napped a lot and so I actually had some free time), and it was inspired by having her. After my wife gave birth to Charlotte, the idea for the book came to me. A funny book about childbirth and becoming a parent from a man's point of view. If we hadn't had kids, I could never have written that book (write about what you know, right?). If we hadn't had kids, I would have kept on working full-time and maybe I would never have become a published author. All what ifs, but having Charlotte changed my life, in so many more ways than one.
So, back to today. It's her last day at home with me before she starts school on Monday. I'm going to miss her so much, more than it's possible to write about in a blog, but I owe her so much. I still have my three old year Jack, who's off to preschool two morning a week (and finally giving me some much needed writing time), but Charlotte is off now and will never completely come back. People talk a lot about being parents. There's so many quotes on it, books about it, but the truth is until you do it, feel that love, that pain, that sadness, that life changing happiness, nothing can prepare you for it.
I've loved every single moment at home with Charlotte. She's an incredible little girl. She's so funny, smart, goofy, and always has a smile, a kiss, a hug, and lots of love for me, but she's going away to school and she's going to change. The world has a bit of her now that I'll never get back and it makes me sad. I know it's OK though because the last five years are in her, they've made her who she is.
Five years ago I was a full-time office worker with dreams, ambitions, and a child on the way with no idea what to expect. Now I'm a published author, with a five year old going off to school, a three year old off to preschool, and although I still have no idea what to expect...I know we'll all be OK. Although, we're moving back to England in January (after 10 years in San Diego, CA), and life is going to change again...I guess I'll let you know how I'm doing in five years.
Until next time.
Hugs,
Jon X
